The Human Centipede (and Other Diets)

Netflix posted The Human Centipede as an instant download, so I fired it up this morning while I ate breakfast. I didn't pay close attention since I was busy doing other things and I was supposed to watch it with a friend, and I didn't want to fully invest in case it was awful and then have to watch again.

In case you didn't know, this is a movie about a crazy German surgeon who kidnaps tourists and then connects them all ass to mouth with their own ass and face tissue and then makes them walk around for his own sick perverse pleasure. The idea is that the one in front will have to shit and then shit into the middle person's mouth and then that person will shit the shit into the third person's mouth - as in, one digestive tract. It's conceptually pretty gross, admittedly. Just the same, there's something quite intriguing about it.

It generated quite a buzz when the first trailer for it was released. There were even several people who did their own Human Centipede costumes for Halloween and Comic Con. There were t-shirts and internet memes and scores more people talking about it than who actually ended up seeing it.

I'll watch just about anything (except a Twilight movie), so I was up for it. It turned out to be not as bad as I thought it would be. I was eating cereal as I watched and found only the first few bites to be a little tough to get down as I viewed the surgery connecting the three people. The part I expected to be the most revolting was the first time one of them shits into the next segment's mouth, but I didn't have any feelings about it as I watched.

In the end, the film just left me feeling sad for the way things turned out for everyone involved. I didn't really lose my appetite enough to really be able to consider it a diet. However, my GF had ordered some of that HCG shit from the internet and it arrived this morning. I suppose I have anywhere from 15-35 pounds to lose... I haven't weighed myself in ages. I'm afraid to. My clothes still sorta fit for the most part, but I'm getting a gut. I hate it.

I don't know how I'm going to both stick myself with a needle AND eat only 500 calories per day. It doesn't seem reasonable. Not eating gummi bears every night barely seems reasonable. This means no more gummi bears at all. No more pizza, no more bread, no more cheese, etc etc... It seems like such a drastic step to take. I don't know - we'll see.

Oh ye of little faith... don't have too much faith in me, but I might just drop a couple of pounds. With or without assistance.

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