Feuding With the Neighbor

I wrote a week or so ago about my neighbor who parks his ugly red pickup truck in front of my house with a trailer hitched to it that has a portajohn on its side half-covered with a crappy tarp.

Well, here's the update...

Since I wrote a note asking him to park his truck elsewhere, he put his own notes on the inside of his windshield saying "this is not an abandoned vehicle - it is legally parked - etc..." He then moved his truck closer to being in front of my house - closer to my driveway.

Annoyed, I called the City of Scottsdale to see if it fell upon their code enforcement. My assertion was that he has parked there for years and never moves the truck at all. Also that because he parks a corvette on his side of the street, two cars in his driveway, none in his garage, and his truck on my side of the street, that he was blocking traffic since two cars couldn't pass by each other safely. Also that it created a blind corner - which is all true.

They passed my complaint along to the police department who paid a little visit to my neighbor. After the visit, the police followed up with me to tell me he was parked legally because it looked like he moved it - yeah, he moved it closer to my driveway once I said something... prior to that, it hadn't moved in several months or even years.

Frustrated, I just kinda gave up and have been stewing about it ever since. The neighbor has been stewing about it as well I'm sure because after his police visit, he moved his truck even closer to my driveway.

Yesterday, the GF and I were leaving the house to go hit up the grocery store. As I stood in the driveway waiting for her to clear off her passenger seat, I glared at the big red monstrosity soiling the front of my house. The neighbor must've seen me - like he sits at the window and watches his precious '92 Ford pickup and portable plastic toilet.

He shuffled out of his house and walked around his driveway trucks for awhile - then as we drove off, he walked across the street to check on his precious big red. I had the GF "flip a bitch" (that means 'turn around') so I could have a word with him.

We pulled up and I rolled down the window and said "Hey, is that your truck?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Could you park it somewhere else besides in front of my house?" I asked.

What happened next was a barrage of swearing and yelling at each other that I will spare you, but he did mention that he had been parking there for 18 years. EIGHTEEN fucking years! Are you kidding me? WHY!? And why do you have a port-a-potty!? Fucking asshole.

We drove off with my middle finger in the air and I spent our shopping trip fuming about it. We threw around ideas for ways we could fuck up his life - but all of them would end up getting us into legal trouble. Plus, I'm not a vindictive person at heart.

When we returned, his car was parked further back toward the corner and not as much in front of my house. It's still entirely annoying, but not as bad. My rage has subsided for now, but I'm still looking into talking to the HOA about it. 18 years is too long to have your shitty truck parked in the street. Park in your goddamn garage, asshole. Fuck.

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  1. This guy seriously sucks. At least you ultimately win at life by being far younger, smarter and better looking than him.

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  2. How the hell is he getting away with that in an HOA hood? I think that you need to (if there is a next time) tell him exactly what Molly said before you drive off with your finger up!

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