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Give Me a Little Credit

I went into a huge financial downward spiral over the last few years as I attempted to hold on to my old ways and reject change. The aftermath is an insane amount of credit card debt and a credit score that went from over 800 to "would probably need my mom to co-sign if I wanted a new cell phone."

I've been rebuilding my life. Nose to the grindstone and all of that. I've become a corporate lackey and I'm working for "the man" now. It's the first real job I've had since I was in college. Looking back, it seems less like I've been running my own business and more like I was some sort of hustler.

It feels good to have a job. There are a lot of firsts associated with this. First time with any sort of health insurance of my own, first time with any sort of retirement plan, and first time having to get drug tested.

I also discovered that I'm really good at what I do. I knew I would be, but I feel bad for all the suckers who failed to have faith and hire me when I applied to a job I was clearly unqualified for on paper.

I'm riding high right now... I'm getting to the point that I almost forget that my little world is still crumbling around me and my finances are still in the red zone. Almost.

The IRS wants to have a chat with me, and I'm still getting bombarded with letters from companies wanting to consolidate my debt. I've also been feeling the effects of having shit credit for the first time. My credit card companies are all handling it differently.

BofA has been surprisingly patient. They were cunts when I was still keeping up with my payments in spite of not being able to afford to. Now, they are kissing my feet.

American Express are sweethearts. I love them. They raised my APR when the shit hit the fan for everyone and the banks needed a bailout. They raised everyone's APR. At the time, my credit was still awesome. I recently asked them if they could just lower it and they did.

Chase and Citibank though can suck my dirty goat nuts. Chase just sent me a letter saying they were raising my interest rate to prime + 26.99%. Seriously? The reason was that I went over my limit. I went over by a dollar and 30 cents when I bought a soda from a vending machine at work.

I recently went over my limit on a Citi card that had a 500 dollar limit (they dropped it from over 6000 because I hadn't used it in over a year) - I was just using it for convenience. They let me go over by 5 dollars. They charged me a 49 dollar fee and raised my interest rate to something ridiculous as well. I closed both accounts and told them as politely as I could to go fuck themselves.

I've been living off of cash only for the most part, but the world is certainly set up to make it easier to use credit. This is all going to take some getting used to. Perhaps it's good that my credit is and will be shit for awhile. I will probably close all of my credit cards eventually and only have one. At one point, I had an available credit card line of over 90,000 dollars. I don't even want to say what my debt is up to at this point.

I don't have a plan yet.

However, instead of waiting for a bailout - I've been bailing myself out. It feels good. Next up, I am going to work on myself inside and out. It's painful to admit, but I suppose my failures in relationships have been directly related to my deliberate avoidance of success in life. I didn't want a woman to like me for my wallet, so I never really tried to fill it with anything.

I think now I'm sort of out to capture financial win. Setting goals is new. Striving for success is new. Promotion and recognition are new. Being part of society... new and interesting.

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