An Affair To Remember (1957)
Starring: Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr
Directed by: Leo McCarey
I had the distinct displeasure of catching this film the other night/morning when insomnia had gotten the best of me. I would like to know who the hell actually likes this film besides Meg Ryan because this piece of trash was excruciatingly awful.
Here's my summary:
A 53 year old Cary Grant plays a never married or employed philandering douchebag who is engaged to an heiress. He takes a cruise ship to Europe without his fiancee and meets a 36 year old lounge singing Deborah Kerr who is also engaged to be married for the first time and yet decided to take a romantic ocean cruise by herself. Together they cheat on their significant others and decide to hook up again once they both get jobs and are able to support themselves.
The scandal of it all is treated more like naughty fun than a shitty thing to do. When they get back home, they tell their respective fiancées about it who both handle it like nobody in the history of reality ever would. "Oh, that's fine that you had an affair - I'll still love you and be your friend and be there for you to support you financially and emotionally while also helping you get together with the person you cheated on me with."
When the cheating whores attempt go to meet, she gets mauled by a car, ends up crippled and misses the appointment while Grant lurks around the elevator all day and night in the rain near the top of the Empire State building. When she doesn't show, Grant simply goes back to business as usual.
Why of course I'll introduce you to my grandmother that my fiancee hasn't even met - nanna is 130 years old.
She gets a job teaching homeless kids how to sing and it apparently pays enough for her to enjoy a high-rise New York loft with a housekeeper and Waterford ashtrays. I'm in the wrong line of work. Grant paints a few pictures that his agent says are crap except for one which he gives away for free, and he also paints a billboard and thus can finally afford to take care of her.
They see each other at a theater... both of them on re-conciliatory dates with their old significant others. Their eyes meet, and it's magic or something. The exes both once again decide to step aside and let their love blossom. In fact, Kerr's ex begs her to let him pay for leg surgery so she can walk back to him on her own two feet. Kerr declines and says she wants to pay for it herself. How noble. Grant still has no idea she's stuck in a wheelchair.
under the blanket are two lifeless husks - withered & knotty old broken tree branches for legs
He does some stalking and finds out where she lives. He goes to her house to give her his dead grandmother's blanket, and they have a boring conversation where he discovers she's a cripple and credits roll.
Eat my ass.
There are several scenes where someone is singing - either Kerr or a group of children. Every time someone sings, the film becomes unwatchable. The movie is practically a musical without the dancing or costumes. The story is absurdly ridiculous. It's dreadfully boring as well, and everyone in it is unrealistically horrible.
Okay - to be honest, I started watching about 15-20 minutes in, so I missed the beginning. Maybe the setup is what makes it so magical and amazing. I can't figure out what Meg Ryan was crying about in Sleepless in Seattle. There's nothing beautiful or romantic about flippantly cheating on someone you're engaged to be married to... unless you're some kind of fucking dick.