Three Generations of Junk

I'm moving if I haven't made that clear. I've been in this house for 10 years. I have boxes upon boxes of bullshit. I have a room called the t-shirt room because it's full of old t-shirts. Piles of them all over the floor. The door remains closed at all times - it has been my secret shame. I also have a closet in another room filled with milk crates full of old magazines from 10 years ago or so.

Magazines. I saved every one I ever got.

Going through all of my shit, I realized that I'm more or less a hoarder. They have intervention shows for people like me. I guess I'm one of those people who hide it.

My living room has always been full of DVDs everywhere. A ridiculous amount of them. More than I could ever watch in a lifetime. CDs too. Someone would see this and just think I had a shit-load of media. What they didn't see is that I have just about the same amount in boxes in yet another closet hidden away.

My garage is full of boxes... some of them are mine that I never emptied when I moved from my last apartment. About 5 years ago, I went through them and knocked them down to 1/3 of what they were - then never touched them again.

After my father died, I culled his possessions down to just a truckload of boxes. Those are also in my garage. Since I have to move, I decided I didn't want to bring all of this shit over to my new place. Out of every box, there's maybe 1 or 2 things worth saving. For every 3 moving boxes, there's a single shoebox worth of salvage.

It's liberating and time consuming. I have to basically put my hand on every single thing in my house and decide if it stays or goes. Then I have to re-pack it somewhere else and throw away the rest.

The tough part is the throwing away. Some of it could be worth money if I were to sell it. Do I have the time? Is it worth the time? Some of it is worth donating to Goodwill... is it even worth making extra piles and extra work?

My back fucking hurts. My hands are dry and always dirty from handling things that are covered in years of dust.

I don't have it in me to just throw everything I own away.

I watched something once about this dude who sold every single thing he owned so he could travel or go to a third world country and help people or whatever. I remember admiring his mastery of the art of detachment. I also remember his project not really working out for him I think.

It feels like I'm throwing out up to 80% of my stuff. It feels good. It's also depressing, but good.

Going through the boxes from my Dad's stuff, I'm finding shit he shouldn't have kept. I'm finding shit he kept from his father as well. Some of that also shouldn't have been held on to. The hoarding appears to be genetic. I'm holding on to shit from 3 generations of hoarding. Well, mostly throwing out.

I'm keeping my dad's gold fillings though - I'll melt that shit down and buy some ironic t-shirts or some DVDs from other countries.

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Posted by Max

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  1. move to TX? can I pile my stuff in ur garage? umm thanks :)

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  2. Sorry you’re having to deal with all that shit on the house. Going through all your stuff is the hardest part. I don’t like to just toss stuff either. Hang in there…I was wondering what happened to your myspace posts. Love reading your blogs, they make me laugh sometimes because you hit real close to home. Take care and enjoy the new start! All the best, Dawn

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